Link vs The UPS Man
By Linkman
Published: November 24, 2007
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Links vs The UPS Man It was a peaceful morning on Gerudo Drive. The birds were singing, the children were playing, and flies were eating the trashed pumpkins left over from the Ordon Pumpkin Festival. At number 7 Gerudo Drive lived the most exemplary members of the Hyrulian society. This new young couple set out to start a family away from all the hubbub of Castle Town in hopes of bringing together a new happy family.
"Hey dear, you want some whipped cream on your beer?", Zelda exclaimed.
"Hey! I'm trying to watch the archery finals woman! Just put some sprinkles on it and call it a day!", Link exclaimed in a drunken rage.
It was through all this madness that such a faithful thing were to happen, the doorbell rang.
"Zelda!....ZELDA GET THE DOOR!!!....ZEEEEEEEEELDAAAAA!"
"I'm cooking, just get off your lazy rear and answer the door! Save Hyrule from Ganondorf, yea, those were the days!"
Link aroused from his couch-side fortress and made his way to the door. He opened the door in a lackluster manner to find, the UPS Man.
"Good morning sir.", the UPS man said with efficiency. "I have a package here for a Mr. Link, your Termanian kegger is in."
In Link's drunken state of mind he could not remember ordering such a thing. So, with slurring speech and all he retaliated.
"Wadaya think I ordered a kegger! What kinda delivery guy are you ya piece of college reject puke!"
"Sir, if you could just sign the paper, I have alot of other homes I need to ge-"
"-HOMES! What, you think I'm homeless! This is my house, and my property, so get the hell off it before I get my bow!"
The UPS Man was enraged, his fingers trembling with his boiling blood.
"Sir, if you don't sign this document I'm going to force you to sign it!"
The two engaged in an epic battle. Link threw an uppercut to the delivery man's chin, he responding with a low blow to the hurt area. Link lay on the ground yelping in pain.
"You think you're so cool cause you can kick me there and win. You know what, I'm gonna sign it with a false signature!"
"Sir, whatever signature you want is fine, just please sign the thing so I can go on with my work!"
Link signed the document and happily drank from his kegger. Zelda having watched the even unfold from the kitchen sighed to herself.
"I knew I should have married Ganondorf when I had the chance..." - 163 Views -
View Comments (5)
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... what?!
Oh, dear....... Who puts whipped cream on beer?!
Lol...
Yea, I should have told you guys I did not write this in a proper state of mind.. hehe
W.
T.
F.
...scary!